Father’s Day is here! So I thought I could share with you the wonderful ways that dads can enrich our babies lives and support us mums. Dads can be just as involved with baby care and bonding as mums! Their time spent with baby, even when mum is exclusively breastfeeding, is just as precious and builds a close bond. 

A dad that gives encouragement and support to mum during the early days of breastfeeding is invaluable. Dads make the best winders! Once baby is fed, he can put her over his shoulder and a few pats on the back will get the wind out. Dads are great at bath time with babies and toddlers, the little ones love how dad can make it fun and games. Talking about fun and games, dads are natural at playing with the little ones. They can make the tiniest baby smile, make the bigger babies giggle with fits of laughter and so many mothers can vouch for the glee their toddlers feel when dad walks through the door, bringing his warm presence into the home.

 

There are baby-carriers these days that are versatile and great for dads as well. Most babies love this special bonding time and will often fall asleep. Dads chests make wonderful resting places! There is nothing more special than seeing a dad resting with baby fast asleep on his chest.

 

For fitness fathers out there, you can find good quality jogger prams to strap baby in and have a run. There are also bikes with bike seats for toddlers that can combine exercise and precious bonding time for dads and their children.

 

The list of how fathers, grandfathers and step-dads can (and do) cultivate strong relationships and bonds with their children and families, is endless. So here is a shout out to the loving, strong and hard-working men in our lives. 

Happy Father’s Day!

 

 

 

The  weather in Auckland has been so patchy that I did not get to write my post about sun safety earlier this summer, but after going to the beach on Monday with my family and seeing a baby that could not have been older than 7 months at the beach with no protective clothing and no hat I thought maybe we all need a little reminder about being safe in the sun with our little ones.

It is recommended that babies under 6 months be kept in the shade at all times because just as in cold weather they are unable to regulate their temperatures like older children , so they can over heat really fast and will battle to naturally bring there body temp down without help. There is also the danger of sun burn on their extremely delicate skin.
Once they are a bit bigger and you are keen to get them out onto the sand and into the water remember a wide brim cool hat and a sunsafe bathing suit. I know little baby girls look cute in normal swim suits and little boys with just a swim nappy but there are some really lovely rash vest type swim suits out there that will keep your baby safe from the sun ☀️ 
Don’t forget to cover them with a high spf baby safe sun block too.
If you are bottle feeding remember to offer plenty of cooled boiled water between feeds to avoid dehydration. If you are breast feeding either offer short thirst quenching Breastfeeds or cooled boiled water. 
Remember keep yourself sun safe too😀

Last week my son who is nearly 4 started Kindy he was quite against the idea of me leaving him and told me he was going to cry allot if I did, so we were expecting the worst.

I decided to help him by making him a social story book about going to kindy. 

On the Thursday we went for a visit and took loads of photos of all the fun and new things he would be doing at kindy and stayed for a short play.

That afternoon I created his special ” Kindy Book ” with all the photos I had taken earlier in the day as well as a story explaining the fun things he would be doing. I also identified the fact that he would be sad but that’s ok as mummy would be coming back.

We read his story twice that day as well as at bed time, the next morning we than took the story with us to kindy and read it together just before I was due to leave him.

When I left at Kindy there was a few small tears, however within a few min he was off playing happily.

I really believe these stories help immensely with all the transitions and changes that toddlers and young children encounter. I have been able to adapt the story books to help quite a few clients with all sorts of issues.
Above is my sweet boy reading his story this morning. 😍

I have worked with quite a few mums who have had to stop breastfeeding due to serious health problems or were unable to continue for various other reasons. 

Quite a few of them had embraced the attachment parenting lifestyle and found themselves not only grieving the loss of breastfeeding, but now feeling like they are no long “proper” attachment parents.

Weaning from breastfeeding can come with so much guilt or sometimes the mother feels relief and then feels guilty for the relief! It’s never ending with mums.

Always remember YOU are this baby’s mother and sometimes to be the best mother is to take that medication that’s not compatible with breastfeeding, or to take the steps needed for either you or your baby’s health.

I know from personal experience with my third child that I was better able to embrace attachment life style once I was no longer in pain. 

I could carry my baby in a sling once more and hold her close. 

Formula feeding parents don’t need to stop co-sleeping, they just need to be more careful. We drilled holes in our cot to make it level with our bed and secured it so it was safe and co- slept with a side car cot instead. 

My baby was still fed on demand with her bottle and had a dummy and lots of mommy cuddles for comfort. 

We still did not leave her to cry and met her every need. 

You too can give your baby everything they need and be the best mum you can be. 

“I was sceptical at first about the Lulla Doll, but wow, this thing really does work! Our 8 month old has had one since 4 months and just LOVES her Lulla, cuddling into it and sucking it to self soothe as she goes to sleep. We use the Lulla just like we use other ‘sleep cues’ like her white noise, sleeping bag etc – so when she sees, hears and touches it she knows it’s time to sleep. I’m sure she sleeps longer with it (as when the batteries run out, we know due to an earlier wake time) and when she does wake she gurgles away happily playing with the Lulla, holding it up above her and talking to it, cuddling and sucking it etc. It’s so soft and light (and made of breathe safe fabric) that I even use it in her cot as a bit of a bumper next to her head to ensure she doesn’t bang into the cot rails while rolling over during sleeping. Best $100 I’ve spent this year!” Michelle, Orewa.

Bottles, bottles, bottles… 🍼 🍼🍼
Whether you have started bottle feeding from day one or moved to bottles as a personal choice or due to health reasons… after a few months you will feel like it’s all about bottles! Washing them, sterilising them, making them, heating them or cooling them. Bottles everywhere.
Here are a few ideas to help make the bottle-feeding journey a bit easier. 
Your first step is choosing a bottle. If you are combine-feeding with breast as well, try and find a bottle that simulates a similar experience as feeding on the breast. 

The one I found that worked the best was the Closer to Nature selection.

 
Even if you are going to start directly on bottles this brand is still good because they don’t suction in like some brands do. With these you can just gently turn the bottle in baby’s mouth to keep the flow going perfectly.
Choosing a formula is a lot harder because there are so many out there that cater to different specific needs. Something important to consider is whether your extended family has a history of allergies. My children were allergic to cow’s milk protein, so when I had to put my daughter on formula due to my health problems, I chose a goat’s milk based formula. 

The most popular brands of formulas I have found to suit most babies are S26 and Karicare. 

If you have a history of allergies to the lactose in cow’s milk then it’s a good idea to us a Hyper-Allergenic(HA) formula, but I would recommend talking to your doctor or paediatrician for advice on which HA formula would be best for your baby.
Remember to always follow the instructions on the formula tin. It is vital for baby to have the exact amount of scoops to the amount of boiled, sterilised water that is stated on the tin. If the bottle is too watered-down then baby will not be receiving enough nutrients from the formula. If the bottle has too much formula to the ratio of water, then she is at risk of becoming constipated. Be sure to always check the temperature of the bottle by gently tipping a few small drops on the inside of your wrist. It is safest to hold your baby close to you to feed and never prop her up with a bottle and walk away while she is feeding as it is a serious choking hazard. 
A nice idea for night-feeds is to fill the bottle ¾ of the way up with the cooled sterilised water and have a flask of hot sterilised water next to your baby’s cot as well. Then you just need to add the water from the flask to the bottle when she wakes during the night, so that it’s at the perfect drinking temperature straight away. Add the formula to the bottle (which you could have pre-prepared in a formula dispenser with the exact amount you need) and it’s ready without the hassle of warming or cooling bottles in the kitchen when you’re half asleep! It will also be quicker so that you can feed baby straight back to sleep without her waking up properly. 
A close friend of mine who was breastfeeding her fourth baby, Poppy, had to stop and change to bottles when Poppy was six months old, due to personal health reasons. It was a difficult decision for her because she is passionate about attachment parenting. However, she discovered that you can make bottle-feeding a close bonding experience for mother and baby as well. She still fed Poppy on demand and she still hugged her in close to feed her, just as she did when she was breastfeeding. I had a few phone calls from her sounding like a zombie-mum after experiencing the night-waking and having to actually get up and out of bed to make the bottle and feed Poppy. 😁 All in all though she managed quite well and Poppy, who is now thirteen months, only just realised she can actually hold the bottle and feed herself! But she still likes to cuddle and feed which is such a precious bonding and relaxing moment. Even toddlers need a little TLC, and you most definitely are not spoiling them! 

 

                           A MOTHERS STORY PART 2 
Babies go through separation anxiety at different stages of their development. Some babies experience it more than others, but I have found from my own experience that the two most common stages are around ten months and eighteen months. 

Recently, if you read my previous blog ‘Extended Breastfeeding and Medication’ you will remember the mother whom I supported while she was in hospital and separated from her toddler. 

A few days after she was able to go home, she called me again because her daughter was screaming every time she moved away from her. She could not even go to the bathroom without a screaming toddler at her feet. 

Well I knew exactly what to suggest… it’s a wonderful thing often used by mothers with children who have ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) and I have found it an invaluable tool in my own parenting for major changes and traumatic experiences.

It’s called a Social Story and to keep it simple for toddlers you use lots of pictures to explain what the child has felt, how they feel now and what’s going to happen next.  

I have included an example below. 
JENNY’S MOMMY WENT TO HOSPITAL
Mommy had a very sore tummy so had to go to hospital (picture of Jenny and mommy) 
Jenny was very sad but granny gave her lots of cuddles (picture of granny and Jenny) 
Granny played lots of fun games with Jenny (picture of Jenny playing) 
The doctors made mommy all better (picture of doctors)
Mommy came home and Jenny was very happy (picture of Jenny and mommy)
Jenny got scared mommy was going to go away again  ☹️
Mommy held Jenny and told her it’s going to be ok. mommy is not going anywhere (picture of mommy and Jenny) 
Jenny can be happy now and play with her toys again (picture of Jenny playing ) 
I know this has worked for my children and I was happy to hear that it helped her family too.

The mother ended up back in hospital a week later so the grandmother was able to make another story to help the toddler cope. 
Her words to me were: “It’s something so simple, that works so well!” 
That’s all from me for now. 😀.    

A MOTHERS STORY
I recently had a call from a mom who had been rushed into hospital with terrible stomach pains. She was still breastfeeding her eighteen-month old daughter, so it was a terrible shock for both mother and toddler. First we had to deal with sore breasts and despite being a very sick mother, she still wanted to maintain her supply and hopefully resume breastfeeding once she returned home. 

I advised her that her supply was already well established at that point, but using a pump and expressing at least once a day would help her not to dry up from all the stress of being in hospital. 

Unfortunately, due to how unwell the mother was, no one could bring her daughter to her and they were apart for fifteen days. Thankfully, baby coped much better than expected, with the support of extended family around her to love and comfort her.
After two surgeries and many pain killers, the mother once again contacted me to find out which medications would be safe once she returned home.

I checked through the list of medications to find both antibiotics safe and even her anxiety pills were OK, so long as they were taken straight after a feed.

Mother and baby are together again and healing slowly. The mother is so happy because the toddler took back to the breast with no trouble at all, and is feeding twice a day now. 
It’s very important to always check what medications are safe. Doctors are not always up to date with the safety of medications while breastfeeding. 
When your baby is over a year old, there are more options of medications that are safe for breastfeeding.  

Keep an eye out for PART 2 Separation-Anxiety after Trauma. 

 Medication and breastfeeding sites:
 https://toxnet.nlm.nih.gov/newtoxnet/lactmed.htm

 http://www.infantrisk.com/ 

Breastfeeding the Second Time Around … 

In my last blog, Tips on Breastfeeding, I covered some of the basics for feeding a newborn baby. However, when you come to feed your second baby, there are a whole new set of challenges. 

Let’s look at a few… 
Mothers often expect that feeding their second baby will be exactly the same as their first baby, that it will be just as easy, or have exactly the same difficulties. This is not the case at all! I remember a close friend of mine had such a breeze breastfeeding her first baby, and was given quite a shock when her next baby had tongue-tie and reflux. Those first three months breastfeeding her second baby were some of the hardest in her life, and I was able to be a support for her through that tough time. After breastfeeding four children and helping many mothers through their own breastfeeding journey’s, I have learnt how important it is for mothers to follow these strategies in order to breastfeed successfully.  

-Pay attention to your latch, especially if you have fed a toddler before. Remember this is a tiny baby who needs to be held close to be able to latch well. 

-Keep yourself well hydrated and well fed so that you have the energy to deal with your growing family. 

-You may have a toddler or a young child the second time around and in an ideal world, your partner or extended family would be there to help with the siblings while you and baby adjust and re-learn to breastfeed. By meeting the older children’s needs, it helps you to relax with baby and creates a more peaceful atmosphere, making life easier in the long-run. We don’t always live in an ideal world though! Here are some other ways to help keep siblings happy:
Before sitting down to feed, make sure the older child has been to the toilet/had a nappy change. Have a snack and a water bottle or sippy-cup ready and where he can reach it. Make sure you have some food and a cold drink for yourself as well, that way you can relax and stay where you are for a while.  
Always have your child’s favourite books near your feeding chair. When she’s wanting some attention while you are feeding, you can get her to snuggle close and read to her.  

Turn on the TV for the older child and sit on the sofa with lots of pillows or a breastfeeding pillow, that way you can still use one of your arms at a moment’s notice. 

Expect to be interrupted, your baby will be OK. Younger siblings adjust to interruptions very quickly!

A strict routine for your baby could end up causing the whole family a bit of stress… try to be flexible and allow the baby to form his own routine into the family’s day. Try not to freak out if baby does not have long naps in his cot, especially when there are noisy siblings around. Use some form of baby-carrier like a Hug-A-Bub or an Ergo with an infant insert. Baby will be very happy to sleep on you.

Have a safe seat for baby, like a bouncer, to be able to put baby down when you need to tend to the other children quickly.  

Your older child is probably going to try out different little tactics to vie for your attention. Sometimes they climb on you, or try to lean on the baby or even move the baby away! Don’t panic, they’re just adjusting as well. By following the above tips, you are giving both children love and attention. Reading a book with the child while feeding the baby has always worked well in our home. 
There are so many advantages to breastfeeding a second time around. One of the best parts is that it forces you to take a seat and rest for a moment! I used to love that I would have an excuse to watch some daytime TV 😉 There’s also the germs that older children may be bringing home from kindy or school… well thankfully breastfeeding provides immune-boosting properties to help fight those germs. Night-feeding is also quicker and easier because you can stay in your bed, if your baby’s cot or cradle is close by you. You will salvage any sleep you can when there’s more children in the mix!!  

     

Feeding a newborn can be a wonderful bonding experience, but it can also be really hard work. One thing is certain for all of us: both mom and baby need to learn or relearn how to feed this baby. Each baby is different and you and your baby will find your rhythm as you relax into feeding together. Here are a few tips that I believe will help you through the first six weeks of feeding. Every breastfeed you manage to give your baby is a success! And if you manage to make it through the first six weeks, which is usually the hardest, it truly is a beautiful experience for you and your baby to continue to feed as long as baby desires. 

1: Feed on demand: What does this really mean? “In general terms, to feed on demand, means to respond to baby’s cues to feed when he’s hungry, thirsty or seeking comfort. This aids in the bonding process with your baby as you get to know his little quirks and cheeky personality! 

2: Feed off one side until you feel empty and then see if baby wants some of the other side. When she pulls away herself, by starting on the opposite side each time you will ensure she gets a good amount of fore milk and hind-milk. If baby starts pulling on the breast, try winding and then returning her to the breast to finish the feed. 

3: It should not hurt to feed. You might get slight pain from learning to feed ! Slightly raw nipples is not uncommon and nipple creams can help. If you experience pain with every feed , be sure to check baby’s latch. Hold baby very close to your body across your chest. Don’t have baby swaddled because close skin contact helps the breastfeeding bond. Lift your breast to baby’s mouth (his mouth should open wide) and as he latches on, his mouth should be taking in most of your areola. You will see his jaw moving slowly up and down as he sucks. If you are unsure, call a professional to help, either Mothersfriend could help or you could call a lactation consultant. Make sure they check for tongue and lip tie as these are common issues.  

4: Night-feeding builds milk supply. Newborns will feed a lot at night. I know this is a hard prospective to accept, but night waking and feeding is a good thing. Night feeding builds your milk supply plus baby waking at night is a survival instinct. Try and sleep during the day to catch up and remind yourself “This too shall pass!” 

5: Find a comfy chair. Once baby comes along you will spend much of your day sitting and feeding. Make sure you have a good comfy spot to sit. Get a breastfeeding pillow or normal pillow to help lift baby towards your breast. Make yourself a drink and a snack. Get a good book to read, (I found my kindle the best for turning pages) or turn on the TV. Anything to help you relax while you feed! 

6: Cluster feeding. In the early days you may notice baby wanting to feed for what feels like hours at a time. This is normal. Their constant feeding in those days, is what encourages your milk to come in and it also builds up your supply. I know this can feel hard, especially if you get a touch of the baby blues, but it won’t last long. The best way to prevent pain during this time, is to feed from one side as mentioned above then swap sides, putting a cool face cloth and nipple cream on the empty breast. Swap baby again if she still seems unsatisfied. Try and get your partner involved with winding and walking baby around a bit, to give you a break between feeds.